Reflections on why waiting for love is sooo worth it

Okay...first of all... I apologize from the bottom of my heart for the lack of posts. I originally committed myself to post everyday and the last few weeks have been very busy with modernmatches and every day life. Tommorow is me and Adams two-year anniversary. yesterday was Bayleigh's 1st birthday (our dog). We will be heading off to Ottawa this weekend for some much needed R&R. We first officiallized our relationship there, so it seems fitting to go back. We kissed in front of the Lord Elgin hotel, he held my hand, and i told him I was ready to give my heart to him and this relationship. I had gone through a pretty bad breakup a few years earlier and he knew that it was going to take a while for me to trust again and be ready to let someone else in my heart and life.

We all go through really bad relationships, bad breakups, and sometimes it takes a very very long time to get over them. Some people take longer than others. One important thing to remember is do not rush into another relationship when you know deep inside your not ready. This is likely to be a re-bound and nothign more than a short-term fix. Unless youve come to a place where you have come to terms with the end of the last relationship, and youve accepted that the relationship is over and dead - dont bother wasting anyone elses time, and give yourself some time alone to naturally get over it.

A lot of people I see (myself included once) bounce from relationship to relationship. I did this alot and it took me a long time to realize the damage I was doing. I had no sense of value for anyone else, much less myself. If you really want to find *true* love, form long-lasting bonds and relationships, and committ yourself to someone who will also committ themselves to you - then you need to stop serial dating (cause quality vs quantity is WAY better) and you need to stop and think about what qualities you are looking for. Make your list. I'd love to hear what some of you come up with. Here was my list:

- Kind and compassionate
-affectionate and loving
-giving and generous (not cheap)
- smart and ambitious
- family-oriented
- could make me laugh
- adventurous (would keep me on my toes)
- romantic and spontaneous
- attractive, warm smile, nice body, good sense of style
- would treat me like a princess

After i started realizing what was important to me i realized that I shouldnt settle for less. I hope this exercise helps shed some light on what kind of person you are looking for. Also...its funny when you look at your list and then look back at your relationships, you start to notice that the most important attributes you needed for happiness...your exes usually never had them.

what not to do on a first datwe (if you want a second)

okay, so maybe some of us are lacking in the etiquette department - this post is for you.

1) dont sleep with your date (seriously...no matter how much pent up rip your clothes off passion you have building up in your loins...do not do it. you will regret it...girls....he wont call you back...guys...she'll never want to look at you again because it was probably a mistake which resulted from too much of the vino

2) dont talk about your exes/past relationships/anything negative...save it for later, or better yet never. leave the past in the past and look forward. your date will feel like you never got over it and will think youre not ready for something new.

3) dont be late for your date, its rude especcially on a first date where impressions count.

4) dont get wasted. Okay we've all done this...some of us can get past it but if you know you arnt the best drinker and you have nerves...dont drink too calm them down. have one drink per every hour and make sure to have water on hand.

5) dont be rude. this is just about being an overall class act. even if your date isnt what you expected dont check out other girls or guys, dont just get up and leave, dont be insulting or degrading. Have the date, unless absoutely unbearable, and be mature. A good way to avoid a totally dfreadful date is to never commit to a long first date...drinks/coffee/dessert is always short and sweet.

6) dont let your bodily functions get the best of you. You would be surprised how many times i hear that someone's date farted, burped, peed behind a bush, or threw up. yes. dont do it or ill come after you!!

7) dont just talk about you. this is another no brainer that some people forget.

8) dont be overlly nervous, people can sense that and its often a bad thing. men and especially women are attracted to confidence. portray this in what you wear, how you act and what you say. women can smell fear.

When you know its love

Ive been with my partner Adam for 2 years now. We met online and had our first blind date over 2 bottles of wine and quessadilla's at the Elephant and Castle. We shared our first kiss outside of the elephant and castly against the window for Pizza Pizza. Needless to say, it was avery passionate first date and many would argue the alcohol clouded our judgement. Maybe it did. But the next day I woke up lips so sore i could barely smile but i couldnt help smiling like a school girl with a crush. From that first date it led to many others (no alcohol involved!) and eventually after 2 months we became exclusive. We bought a condo and added a dog to our home a year later. I've never been happier in my entire life.

Adam was a rare gem in my eyes. He was the kind of man countless women search for but never find. He was soft-hearted and giving, compassionate, understanding and respectful, a gentlemen who would open the car door and pull out the chair at dinner, he would show me constant attention and affection. He was adventourous and spontaneous, always up for anything and eager to do new things. He had that wild side to him but inside, he was the sweetest man in the world. Thats the key combination most women want - a man who can be independent and stand his ground - but provides you with the emotional attention, sense of protection (as your dad did) and endless amounts of love you need.

So as much as I recommend to clients to avoid drinking on a first date I'll be the first to say - i failed that rule. And sometimes... breaking the rules works in your favor. I dont think i would have had the guts to kiss him had the sauvignon blanc and pinot grigio (Fat Bastard and Tini) not been there for support. :)

What is a serial dater?

Statistically speaking... I have "dated" probably around 50 guys in my life. I have had 4 serious relationships. I have fallen in lust, in love, and out of love faster than most girls change hair colours. I went through alot of phases while dating in search of long-lasting true love... I did the blonde thing for a bit, the jock, the teacher, the policeman, the tall dark and handsome, the actor, the bartender, the geeky-nerdy sweet guy... I pretty much dated every kind of man out there...but still, I couldnt find the right one. I spent so much time focusing on sampling as many flavours that I forgot to enjoy what I had at the time.

Serial daters date ALOT and OFTEN. They tend to think that allowing themselves the opportunity to meet as many potential mates as possible will increase their chances of finding true love. They also tend to like the excitement and rush a new fling can bring. Serial dating isnt really a bad thing - its like being a super hero - its all about how you use your super powers, for good or for evil. In my case I think I meant well, but maybe broke a few hearts on the way. Regardless, my serial dating days are now over. And truthfully, you tire quickly of the dating scene - as many of you may be noticing now.

So here's my blog and I plan to use my superpower's for good by sharing my advice, wisdom, and stories about surviving in the dating world today and how to make the most out of your dates. Maybe my embaressing horror stories will spare you having to repeat them. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, once it becomes a routine - stop take a break. Avoid dating burnout.